Fun Quotes and Puns About Grocery Stores

Apples on display in grocery store
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Barbara Farfan 

Funny insights and fun quotable quotes about supermarkets and shopping in grocery stores are not interesting only to retail industry evangelists or the paper-or-plastic employees at your neighborhood grocer. Because grocery shopping is such a shared part of human experience in most modern societies, a trip to the supermarket and the grocery store experience has come to symbolize everyday life. Some of the best quotations on any topic come from the "average" because so many people can relate to them.

What follows are quotable quotes about supermarkets, grocery stores, and shopping for groceries from famous people from different countries and from different walks of life. This diverse collection of quotations about supermarkets and groceries prove that the grocery humor is broadly relevant and widely shared.

Fun and Funny Quotes About Shopping for Groceries

John Kenneth Galbraith

"A person buying ordinary products in a supermarket is in touch with his deepest emotions.”

Doug Coupland

"Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.”

Berenice Bejo

"Here, you go to the supermarket and you have wipes to clean your hands before shopping. No, we don't have that in France, but we recycle.”

Rachel Stevens

"I love going to my supermarket. Sounds so rock 'n' roll, eh?” - Rachel Stevens, English Singer, Actress, TV Personality

Barack Obama

"I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks.”

Wallis Simpson

"I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me, they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.”

Christopher Dodd

"It's easy for Americans to forget that the food they eat doesn't magically appear on a supermarket shelf."

Michael Pollan

"Now that I know how supermarket meat is made, I regard eating it as a somewhat risky proposition. I know how those animals live and what's on their hides when they go to slaughter, so I don't buy industrial meat."

Craig Bruce

"Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am."

Adlai Stevenson

"With the supermarket as our temple and the singing commercial as our litany, are we likely to fire the world with an irresistible vision of America's exalted purpose and inspiring way of life?"

Anne Tyler

"Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"

Cameron Diaz

"I can spend hours in a grocery store. I get so excited when I see food, I go crazy. I spend hours arranging my baskets so that everything fits in and nothing gets squashed. I'm really anal about it, actually."

Sandra Lee

"I don't think there are any footsteps to be walked in. No one else has taken things that you can buy at the grocery store and put them together. I hope that I have a career as long as Julia Child."

Connie Willis

"I have never written anything in one draft, not even a grocery list, although I have heard from friends that this is actually possible."

Seann William Scott

"I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day."

Yo-Yo Ma

"I love grocery shopping when I'm home. That's what makes me feel totally normal. I love both the idea of home as in being with my family and friends, and also the idea of exploration. I think those two are probably my great interests."

Pauline Hanson

"I may be only a fish and chip shop lady, but some of these economists need to get their heads out of the textbooks and get a job in the real world. I would not even let one of them handle my grocery shopping."

Clay Aiken

"I thought about that the other day after I went to the grocery store and had to sign fifteen autographs before leaving. On one hand, it's just so flattering. On the other hand, sometimes it would be nice to get the bread and leave, you know?"

Steven Wright

"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.’"

David Eddings

"I've fallen back on this periodically, although I must say that getting out of the grocery business ranked right up there with getting out of the army as one of the happier experiences of my life."

Chris Evans

"I've managed to do movies and still keep a lifestyle where I can go to ballgames, go to a grocery store like everybody else."

James Denton

"It slows down grocery shopping because so many women at the store watch the show. I always end up talking to two or three people every time I go to Ralphs. It's fun."

Renee Zellweger

"Once you've reached the point where you can pay rent, you can go to the vet and you can go to the grocery store, after that point, it's all the same. I don't have the appetite for a decadent lifestyle." - Renee Zellweger, Academy Award-winning Actress

Ryan Seacrest

"Some people meet people in the grocery store, but I get my tomatoes and I'm out."

Paul Prudhomme

"We trust something in a grocery store and assume it's good. We don't learn about the most precious thing in life — the food we put in our body. Educate yourself!"

Jery Ryan

"West Hollywood is predominantly gay, so every man that came into the grocery store was shopping for his boyfriend."

Dennis Miller

"You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven."

Bette Davis

"I went back to work because someone had to pay for the groceries."

Michael Madsen

"I probably made a few pictures I shouldn't have done, but I have four sons and I have to pay the rent. If you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy groceries at the market or whether or not you're going to make a bad movie, you're going to make a bad movie."

Erma Bombeck

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

Larry McCleary

"About eighty percent of the food on shelves of supermarkets today didn't exist 100 years ago.”

Ryan Phillippe

"The only reason I attract paparazzi at a supermarket is because I was married to the highest-paid actress in the world. Even though I'm not with her any longer, there is a certain amount of notoriety that I guess sticks beyond."

Michelle Obama

"Even if we give parents all the information they need and we improve school meals and build brand new supermarkets on every corner, none of that matters if when families step into a restaurant, they can't make a healthy choice.”

Carly Rae Jepsen

"The neighborhood grocery clerk asked for my picture. Does this mean I can no longer wear pajama bottoms when I grocery shop?"

Uknown

"Every time I go to the grocery store, I suppress my desire to trip kids running through the aisles." - Unknown

"Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom."

"Many doctors pay their grocery bill with the money of folks who have eaten too much."

Hal Borland

"Weekend planning is a prime time to apply the Deathbed Priority Test: On your deathbed, will you wish you would spend more prime weekend hours grocery shopping or walking in the woods with your kids?"

Slash

"I got the name Slash because I used to work in a grocery store and I was in charge of reducing prices for really big sales."

Molly Haskell

"Hospitals, like airports and supermarkets, only pretend to be open nights and weekends.”

Joseph Goldberg

"The grocery store is the great equalizer where mankind comes to grips with the facts of life like toilet tissue.”

Mitch Hedberg

"I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.”

"If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.”

Dave Ramsey

"This is not a game, ... Debt has become a part of who we are. It's become that spoiled child in the grocery store with their lip stuck out: 'I want it. I want it. I deserve it because I breathe air.'"

While buying groceries is nothing but a necessary chore to many, there are many who have a fun and funny perspective about the menial task of grocery shopping. The average supermarket experience - whether it's the best grocery customer experience or the worst grocery customer experience - is something that even famous and successful people notice and talk about.  

The point where opinions about supermarkets intersect with famous and successful people is the point where quotable grocery store quotes are born.